out of sudden i feel like blogging. i noe ive been away for too long already. i dunno how or where should i start. but 1st little update about my 21st bdae party. of cos it was a blast one! i enjoyed every moment of it. i dont expect too much people will come to my mini celebration but it turned out to be the awesome bdae party that i ever had. thanx to the close one that helped me alot during the preparation of the bdae party. mwah! next work have been heaven to hell. HAHAHA! everything have change even too the tiny little things. *big sigh*. eventhough theres a big huha at work still i enjoyed every moment of it too. friends that always keep me rocking. oh and dont forget aunty and uncle too. When you are deeply in love, heartbreak can be traumatic. i feel that im going through a period of heartbreak, i noe that i must accept the fact that life goes on and so must i. i must face those feelings of rejection and anger by acknowledging them, dealing with them, and then achieving closure. The most important thing is to get in touch with reality. i wish that these heartbreak will drive through to the road of recovery and make it a lot less bumpy. how i wish behind my smile is a hurting heart sometimes. behind my laugh , im falling apart. look closely at me and you will see the girl i am isn't me. especially you. when i do something great, you will never ever seems to remember but when i do something wrong you will never ever can forget about it. because of you i try to sleep more so that i coudnt feel the pain more. yes i do smile to you but behind this smile you will never understand. never ever. of cos i dont want to admit anymore. its easier to lie, hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry. im sick and tired of crying for you. i just found it actually takes years to gain my trust to you but its just take a seconds to destroy it.I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any more of me left. Everything that ever cause a tear to trickle down my cheeks, I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I don't know what to do. I just know that the pain I felt so long ago, it's hurting ten times more. I'm not saying I have nothing. I'm not saying I'm gone completely. It's just sometimes it's all a bit too much to handle. Sometimes I feel like it's too much. I'm not going to do anything stupid because I know it will get better, it has to right? But for now, just for now, it hurts. its just a random update for me. hate it, leave. TQ.
